A delicate jump

(A couple of big posts are coming up. I'll put up a few snapshots here.)

The apartment hunt is going to take up most of my time this week (in theory). I've been asked to spend all available time on that, including take time off from work.

As I was hunting apartments online, a colleague walked up and introduced himself, "Hi, I'm another Kalyan." He's Telugu, and based on our short conversation I'm about 70% sure he's related to me through no more than two steps. As I talked to him about accommodation, he quickly called up an agent and hooked me up. Sounds like a good deal in the sense that it's close by and cheap. I'm waiting for the fine print.

Turns out his agent is Telugu too. Which caused me to immediately fire up my Telugu Landing System (TLS). By TLS I'm of course referring to the delicate dance that I (I assume other Telugus do this too) perform while meeting a new Telugu person. In particular it comes to one very important question - at what point do you drop the first Telugu sentence? (Sometimes the other person will make the crucial step and you won't need to worry. At other times you'll have to take the onus.) Too early and you'll sound needy or "uncool". Too late and you'll be snobbish city boy (or NRI) who can't be bothered to speak in his own mothertongue. The whole procedure is not unlike landing an aircraft on a carrier. I broke out a "ఆఫీసులో ఇంకా తెలుగు వాళ్లు ఉన్నారా?" (Are there other Telugus in the office) as soon as he finished talking to the agent and I think the ice is broken. As it turned out, he was very cool and even offered to introduce me to his mother so she could figure out how I'm related to him :)

There is a good chance he'll end up being my neighbour.

Eat at the Hotel

(A quick update)
I'm at work in Pune, arrived 15 mins ago and waiting in a meeting room to be assigned a seat and meet the others. The guesthouse I've been put up at is very sweet and the area is very quiet. I met cousin who lives here and he's been a great help.

Right now the biggest thing on my agenda (other than work) is getting an apartment. As soon as that's done, I'll be comfortably set up.

I've been asked to give a "treat" for my birthday at a nice "Hotel". I've been told by a friend who was born in Pune that the locals can "smell my NRI a** from a mile away". So I need to adapt my vocabulary, clothing and general mannerisms if I'm to fit it. One such adaptation is realizing that the word "Hotel" in India is used interchangeably for "restaurant". Oh, and the place I work is right next to the "Le Meridian" Hotel. It's pronounced "Lee Meridian".

It's not just a piece of cardboard

Done with packing and I'm off to Pune pretty early in the morning. Wish me luck.

It's the day of the immersion of Ganesh statues. Should make for a very tense morning on the way to the airport over in Hyderabad, and while not as tense, still a pretty long journey from the airport in Pune. I'd wanted to see the Ganesh festival in Pune, I guess I'll have to satisfy myself with glimpses of the statues on their way to being immersed. 

Mom has to help pack, even now. The "has" refers to her desire and my unwillingness to argue with her. I got a nice gift from Srujana, a small poster from Godfather - it's a shot of Bonasera as he's leaning into make a very harsh request of the Don. As mom was packing my stuff she sees this and asks me - "What is this? Is this just a piece of cardboard, can I throw it away?" My eyes popped out of their socket. "Mom, that's not just any piece of cardboard!"

Once I get to Pune I hope to upload some awesome pictures. For now I'm signing off from Hyderabad. Next time you hear from me, I'll probably be brainwashed by the MNS. Rajesh, I'll either end up hating you with all my heart, or the opposite, very soon. 

A hairy encounter

Just got back from a haircut. You know how haircuts work in orthodox
homes. You come home from the haircut and you stand without touching
anything in the house, not unlike a quarantined patient. And then
after the bathroom is set up for you, you walk in, again without
touching anything and get "cleaned" and only then are you fit for
human interaction. And if you happen to go with, say, your dad then
you have to stand motionless while your dad finishes his shower.

I'm told Reliance wants in on the haircutting business. They'll be
offering good quality at slightly higher prices. This of course has
the mom-and-dad stores in an uproar. Merits keeping on eye on.

Anyway, today at this store near our house I sat down in the chair.
The guy wraps the sheet around my neck. I was keeping an eye on the TV
as I wait for him to get ready. Next thing I know this guy has both
his hands on my shoulders, leans in close to my ear and whispers, "Do
you want it short?" I was startled! I know I've gotten a lot more
squeamish about personal space since I left India but this had to be
inappropriate even for Indian standards. I said, "Medium" and sat up
very straight. The rest of the haircut went on without any incident.
Except, after he finished, he leaned in again and asked, "Do you want
an oil massage (for your scalp)?" "No thanks!!!!".

It's a secular country alright!

Being as it is Vinayaka Chavithi, as soon as I entered the city, I expected to be greeted by the usual elaborate setups that are rigged up this time of the year. What I wasn't quite prepared for were the signs that said "Happy Ganesh Chathurthi and Ramzan wishes", with tons of photos of the local politicians. It's like people suddenly woke up to the power of the Muslims living in the city and realized they can't be ignored. (I must say, most of the signs are by the aspiring members of the newly formed Praja Rajyam party.)

Another set of signs that I saw for the first time was "Haleem available here". Haleem apparently is a high calorie stew that Muslims consume while breaking their daily fast. I'm sure it's been around the city for ages, but it's only now that I'm noticing the signs advertising the availability. Again, the large consuming power of the Muslims. Flexing of their economic muscle.

There was an interesting program on TV as I was getting my haircut. About this dargah which gets a lot of Hindu visitors as well. It's fascinating to watch the co-existence of religions in the city. 

My life if I'd been born in the US

Apparently Peyton Manning showed up for a sweet 16 party. And it was
for an Indian kid by the looks of it. What's more, he was dancing with
Mallika Sherawat. Wow, I've always wondered what my life would have
been like if I was born in the US. I suppose this would been one of
the dream scenarios. Except for the Mallika Sherawat part of course.

http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/004225.html

http://deadspin.com/sports/nfl/peyton-mannings-sweet-16-party-cameo-241661.php

http://sportsbybrooks.com/peyton-manning-sweet-16-partygoer-was-bollywood-actress-mallika-sherawat-12395

Language and the bargaining experience

Yesterday, after the world stopped spinning, I took the world out for a spin.

I took mom to see an physical therapist because her legs hurt. The
therapist was a N. Indian, Hindi-speaking person. The conversation
that followed is one reason I think India is just so cool.

Mom: నా కాలు నొప్పి పెడుతోంది.
Dr.: कहाँ पे?
Mom: My knee.
Dr.: మీరు ఇక్కడ ముందు వోచ్చారా?
Mom: No.
Dr. Aunty, आपको treatment compulsory అవసరం.

And so on ...

-----

Later in the day we went shopping for fruits and I was made to realize
once again how utterly inadequate I am at bargaining. This is a skill
I need to develop if I am to survive India.