Just chill (till the next episode)

(On a sidenote before we begin, I've been dying to use that line as the heading for a post for about six months now.)

 

After the Mumbai blasts, it's not a stretch to say that security in the entire country got ramped up. You couldn't enter a mall or a theatre or a big office without stepping through a metal detector and getting felt up (frisked) by some security guard. (By the way, I think it's extremely primitive that they resort to frisking instead of using a hand-held metal detector. As someone asked, what if the guy frisking me is gay? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose of having a male person frisk me?)

Now, a few months after the blasts, security has clearly dropped off. On the way to my office, they used to check the badges of the people who worked in the building, and all other visitors were forced to park outside and call a person in the office to confirm that they were expected. Two days ago when I went to the office as guest, I just had to sign in a guest book and could walk up to the office. No one to check if I was who I said I was, or if I was expected. Similarly, in lots of malls all over the city, the security checks and friskings as you enter have become much more casual.

It'll keep dropping till there is another event and then people will get hysterical all over again and ramp it up. I suppose it's just human nature.

A primer on state of Indian Politics - Part 2, a few articles.

Guys,

In my second email I'd like to show a few articles. You'll notice they're all from the same newspaper. That's because that's the only Indian newspaper I read :) But even otherwise, everyone will admit that The Hindu is one of the very few non-sensational newspapers in the country. They lean very so slightly to the socially conservative side but are fairly secular and even-handed in their analysis.

However, these articles aren't really point-of-view articles as much as they are informative. So the leaning shouldn't be an issue.

The Hindu : Opinion / Editorials : The great Indian election
This is a rather dry facts and figures of the election. Very informative however and should be a good read to get the bigger picture.

The Hindu : Opinion / Editorials : The third as an alternative
This is a very good piece on the strengths and weaknesses of the Third Front as a viable opposition to the UPA and the NDA. The biggest point to take away from here is that should the election be close, the Big Two could easily lure members from the Third Front because they were previous partners.

The Hindu : Opinion / Leader Page Articles : Ambition and power play in the time of elections
This is an excellent piece on the details of the coalition politics and the dispositions of the Big Two toward these politics. It does a good job of detailing the tough situation that all these parties are facing and how their stubbornness or other attitudes might cost them a chance to form the government.

In addition there was another piece on the complexities of this election brought about by the rise of the regional and caste-based political parties. About how these parties make the voice of the smaller groups heard, more of then than not they end up being too narrow in their scope and vision, and push their agenda for their group at the expense of the nation. That was the best piece of the lot but damn it all, I can't find it.

Hope this gives you guys some good reference points. My third email will be me writing about some of the horrible electoral practices that are gaining strengths. This will be the main email since I hope to get the discussion I initially wanted to get going through that email.

Kalyan

An efficient solution?

I was wondering what to do with my vehicle after my move out of Pune. A stupid rule in this country states that you need to register your vehicle in whatever state you're driving it in. So, for my scooter that cost me Rs. 38,000 to buy, it'll cost me Rs. 8000 to register in whatever state I take it to. And that affects my options when it comes to selling the scooter. I was talking about all this with a colleague here and she was rather disappointed that I was considering selling my scooter. I explained that it would cost me too much to keep it.

Then she gave me a rather interesting solution - don't register the vehicle in the new state. Well, I said, I'll get pulled over by cops who'll see my license plate. OK, she replied, pay them off, Rs. 100 each time. Even if you get pulled over 10 times in the remaining 4 months or so, you are out only Rs. 800, only a tenth of what you'd pay for registration.

Wow. That short conversation gave me a valuable insight into a lot of interesting topics and in particular about the way people in this country think and act. And I am willing to bet anything that this type of thinking isn't restricted only to this country.

Goodbye to Pune

The big news that I've delayed posting about is that I'm leaving Pune. I've quit my job and have just vacated my apartment. The official story is that I ran out of things to blog about in Pune. So I quit my job. Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. (Well not really, but the real story isn't exactly interesting, so forget it.) That's the reason why most of my recent posts have been about events in Hyderabad. I will continue to post to the same blog about the next city I go to work in.

Meanwhile, goodbye dirty city. I wish I could have seen you 30 years ago, when you must have been really beautiful.

Goodbye coconut water vendor. You always knew exactly what type of coconuts I liked.
Goodbye Andhra guy who ran a restaurant here. You were fun to talk to, and your food had great bang for buck, but it wasn't that good.
Goodbye the other restaurant here. You were way too expensive.
And goodbye third restaurant, closest to my house. You were a great ultracheap alternative for food.
Goodbye barber. You gave the best scalp massage a homophobe could ever appreciate.
Goodbye chaat shop kid. You made as good a chaat as I ate in Pune, and sorry but that's not really a compliment.
Goodbye apartment. I really wish we could have grown old together, but it wasn't meant to be.
Goodbye landlord. You were as honest as a businessman could be expected to be and a nicer human being. I hope my next landlord is atleast as good as you.
Goodbye colleagues. In a short time I'm glad I got close enough that when I came to the office to see a few of you, every one else atleast dropped by to say "Hi" and as a result caused me to stay at the office a couple more hours than I had planned to. You're all smart people and I was glad to have worked with you, but you're all better friends and I am happier to have made your acquaintance.

"What do you expect, the Comedian's dead"

After watching "Watchmen" in Hyderabad, I was going home in an autorickshaw. We were driving by Lumbini park and there was a horde of reporters with cameras over there. It looked like they were waiting for some politician or someone big to show up. The auto driver remarked, "That crowd over there, do you think there was another bomb blast or threat?" and burst out laughing. I couldn't help laughing either. Lumbini park, in case you didn't know, was the location of one of the three bomb blasts that rocked Hyderabad a couple of years ago. It was bizzare that both of us were laughing about a scenario that was entirely possible and not really funny. But then again, that's Indians. I mentioned this a while ago that Indian humor is very broad. It's un-PC and it takes on every topic under the sky. If you watch Indian movies, you'll find jokes about politics and politicians, about AIDS and cancer, about death and dying, about debilitating diseases, physical handicaps, mental retardation, poverty, religion (and by that I mean all religions, Islam, Christianity and most of all Hinduism) everything. No topic is really taboo. So with that in mind, I hope you'll excuse the bizzare laughter.

The title connection here of course is the character of the Comedian. Without spoiling anything, the Comedian is an ironically named character in the Watchmen universe who finds humour in the dark nature of the world around him. And when the book starts, with his killing, another character remarks that there are fewer laughs in the world because "the Comedian's dead".

My own "Deewar" moment

(Deewar as in "Lambe race ka ghoda" scene rather than "Mere pass maa hain" scene.)

As I was walking around the MG road area in Pune, I heard a small voice behind me say, "Hello sir, can I polish your shoes?" I was surprised because I heard that line in English. I turned around and it was a kid of about 10 years with a small packet who repeated, "Can I polish your shoes sir? Very good polish." Very much amused but also in a hurry to finish some errands I told the boy that I didn't need it. After all, I was wearing some super cheap slippers that would probably die in a few months and at any rate would get dirty immediately after any polish. I kept walking and thought I lost the kid but as I crossing the road I heard the voice again, "Please sir, very good polish, only Rs. 2." (Rs.2? What the hell does he hope to accomplish with Rs. 2? How many people does he need to ask to get enough of them to agree to get a polish to raise enough money to eat a single meal???) "I'm sorry I just don't have the time to get my slippers polished. Here, let me just give you Rs. 5." Immediately the kid pulled himself back, "Sorry sir, I am not begging."

That kind of old-fashioned dignity and pride in oneself captured my attention and I said, "OK, let's go." He asked me to sit on a small bench and he proceeded to take my slippers and apply polish on them. I commented on his good English and he thanked me. He said he was from Rajasthan and not a lot of people get their shoes polished like I did (I suppose he was commenting on me being nice? I dunno.) He then asked me why people don't ask him to polish their shoes more. I tried to explain that people in this part of the city are probably very rich and don't bother with polish, they just throw them away if they don't look good anymore. Then I asked him why he was in Pune, so far away from Rajasthan, instead of going to, say, Delhi. Apparently he came here with his mom and kid siblings.

As this was going on, I was a bit on my guard. A Rs. 2 shoe polish was ridiculously cheap and the kid looked too innocent to be real. But nothing much happened. No hidden thugs jumping out to grab my wallet, or even pick it. No elaborate con. Just a simple shoeshine.

As the polish was going on, I had already decided to pay the kid much more than the Rs. 2 he had asked for. But then the kid started talking about how someone told him that he reason he couldn't get customers was because he didn't have a shoeshine box. I asked him how much one cost and he said Rs. 180. And as he was finishing up the polishing, he asked me to help him out with the box. Giving him the Rs. 180 wasn't a big deal for me. But somehow I got the nagging feeling that the entire innocent kid routine was the con to get the Rs. 180 out of me and that just killed the good samaritan in me. I gave him the Rs. 20 I had originally planned on giving him and walked away.

Happy Ugadi

A happy new year to all my Telugu brethren. First full-fledged Ugadi festival at home in ages. (There was one two years ago but being as it was in the middle of about three huge family events, it was way too busy to enjoy.) Had the usual Ugadi Pachadi (a salad of sorts) which come out really good. The belief is that whatever flavor dominates your Ugadi pachadi, that symbolizes the type of year you're going to have. People "cheat" by overdoing the sweet part of the pachadi anyway. Regardless, mine was sweet this year and I'm hoping that translates to all the new things coming my way. Like a new job and a new city.

A trip to "Old city"

One fine day I got really restless and decided to take a trip to "old city". Old city, clearly, is the really old part of Hyderabad. It's Muslim-dominated and contains the traces of the Nawabs who ruled this part of the world. In particular, I wanted to visit the Salarjung Museum which is one of biggest museums in the country and the biggest in the city. I hadn't been to this place in about 20 years and since I was in Hyderabad anyway, I felt I should use this opportunity to check it out. Since the temperatures had cooled down a bit, I felt I could take the bus, but luckily my friend who lives here wanted to come along too, so we took his car. Good thing too since Chiranjeevi was hosting a big meeting in the city and I could have been stranded in the traffic.

We managed to get there late so we were kind of in a rush to see all the galleries. It is quite an exquisite collection from all over the world. (A note to my friends who are lovers of all things Italian - this is a fun museum to explore for some of its paintings and sculptures.) The best item in the collection probably is "The Veiled Rebecca" (fourth image in this page - http://www.berkshiremuseum.org/galleries/art_sculpture.html). It's beautiful.

Another big attraction in the museum is the clock. Everyone in the city has heard of this clock. Every hour, a tiny person steps out and rings a bell to indicate the hour. Thing is, I assumed by this time, ages after the museum opened, visitors would tired of this thing. But even this day, a few minutes before the top of the hour, the hall which houses the clock got filled up and everyone eagerly awaited the arrival of the little man. A new addition here is the camera that focusses on the clock and shows the magnified image on two giant TV screens for the people sitting further away from the actual clock. Everyone laughed out loud when the guy actually showed up.

After the museum we made a trip to Charminar. For all the times I've seen it, I've never climbed up to the terrace. I did this time. Beautiful view all around. This might sound like I'm kidding but seriously, I loved the view of all the autorickshaws parked all around the monument. From above, it looked beautiful. My friend and I even walked into the Mecca Masjid which is right next door. You know, being Hindus, a lot of us have a lot of apprehension about entering mosques. We feel we don't know the "protocol" and in general, we feel we will stand out and hence be kicked out. Nothing violent just embarassing. But once in a while I do get the courage to enter some of these mosques and you know what? They're OK :) This place is famous for the large number of pigeons that hang out there. People feed them and the kids love to run among them and scare them. It was very peaceful sitting there and taking it all in. We then walked around the mosque itself and admired its great walls and overall architecture. The prayer hall of the mosque itself had a sign that said "No outsiders allowed" which we assumed meant that non-muslims weren't allowed. That kind of stuff, when any religious monument prohibits people of other religions from entering, troubles me because it's just more walls between communities. But oh well, atleast we got to see the pigeons!

A "Sholay" themed restaurant in Hyderabad

 There's a "Sholay"-themed restaurant in Hyderabad. It sounds like an awesome idea! The walls are covered in murals from the movie. The staff is dressed in costumes from the movie. You even have the water tank from which a drunk Dharmendra threatens to kill himself in that "sooossside" scene. Surma bhoopali has a pan shop, as a tribute to his pan-chewing character from the movie. Apparently there are plans to show the movie on a continuous loop which, by the way, might be a very bad idea with people being reluctant to leave if an important scene comes on.

Can't wait to check it out sometime.

http://www.hindu.com/2009/03/16/stories/2009031650810200.htm

A day trip to Chennai

One fine day I woke up and I realized that I should try to visit Chennai and visit the IIT campus because I don't know when I might get the chance again. Unfortunately the day I woke up and decided to do this, the tickets that I could get my hands on left me with very little time in Chennai. I would have barely 8 hours in Chennai from the time the train arrives in Chennai to the time my return train would leave. Still, I had to do it.

As my luck would have it, my train arrived 30 mins late. However I used the shower facility in the train station and that saved me some time. (Although I must admit, I wasn't really planning on taking a shower elsewhere if the station's shower facility didn't work out!) I hired my favorite nemesis, the Chennai Auto, to get to the campus. It wasn't a nuisance since I took a prepaid auto. The original plan was to see if I could rent a two-wheeler for the duration of my stay there, but no one knew where to find those.

Immediately, almost unconsciously, I slipped into full Tamil mode and not a single person in Chennai asked me if I was really a native Tamil speaker, so points! There were quite a few changes in the city including a lot of high rises and flyovers, including a flyover right in front of the campus. Much more changes in the campus. The biggest was probably the construction of four high-rise hostels. On first inspection they looked like huge improvements over the older ones, but as I learned later, the corridors are extremely dark and poorly ventilated.

My own hostel looked as good as before. One change I noticed in the population was that I heard a LOT of Telugu. That fits with the reports that I heard earlier that AP now has a ton of IIT coaching centres that have effectively "cracked" the entrance exams for the IITs and are, therefore, mass producing IIT candidates. Ate at one of the new canteens on campus.

I wanted to meet my friend, who's now an IIT professor in my own department but he wasn't available. I did meet two of my own professors. Normally I dread meeting IIT professors because I'm always afraid they wouldn't remember me and it would be an awkward conversation from that point onwards. But while these two took a few mins of my prodding to place me, they did remember me and my classmates and the project I was working on etc. They talked very excitedly about changes on campus and in the department. It was surprisingly nice talking to them.

After that I managed to catch a bus and short auto ride to one of our favorite offcampus food joints, Shakes and Creams, famous for its icecreams. I was dreading going there because while I had been craving those icecream creations for about a decade, I was afraid of ruining my memories of the place if they changed management and suddenly their icecreams sucked. While the management did change, the icecreams were just as good as I remember them! Heavenly. My only regret was that I could eat only one before I had to rush to catch my train. I managed to catch another bus to the station, which meant that my overall interaction with the auto drivers in Chennai was very minimal.

Nice trip, I'm glad I got to do it before it got too hot or before I got too busy to go there again.

Subway in Hyderabad

When I first moved to India, in September, my dad said that he wanted to try out "that new Subway place". I told him I loved their sandwiches and that we should go there sometime. Except, it never worked out for a long time. Something kept coming up.

A few weeks ago, I did manage to take both my parents there. They were, understandably a little anxious about entering a new restaurant but I explained to them how subway works and how you order, the various choices you have etc. Most of this flew over their heads since it was their first time there. So I picked three different sandwiches for the three of us so that if we didn't like our sandwich we could eat one of the other two.

Now, as you read the rest, remember we're in Hyderabad, a Telugu-speaking city.

The manager greets us politely in English "Hello sir, welcome to Subway." I conversed with the manager in English from them on. Midway through the process of making our sandwich, my mom had a doubt about some ingredient and she asked me that question in Telugu. I, in turn, turned to the guy behind the counter and asked the same question in English. He, then, turns to the kitchen and shouts out the same question in Telugu! He gets his response, in Telugu obviously, and turns to me and gives me the answer in English.

Wow, I thought! Why all this song and dance? If he's a Telugu speaker, why can't we just give our order in Telugu instead of maintaining all this facade of being "posh" just because we're in a Subway? Does Subway instruct all its workers to talk in English only in order to justify the price tag? I mention the price tag because later that day my dad asked me why we just spent about Rs. 500 on a meal when we could have had the same meal in a generic restaurant for about Rs. 150, and I didn't have a better answer than "brand value". On another side note, in Chennai, the Subway restaurants have signboards in Tamil, that made me realize that no one has as much regional pride as the Tamilians do!

Coming back to our lunch. We ordered cokes along with our meals. As we sat down to have our meals, I noticed that our cups were only about 80% full. Being as we were in India where they don't allow the customers fill their own drinks or get refills (with good reason I might add!) I was peeved that they didn't have the decency to fill our cups to the brim. So I called the guy and pointed this out. "OK sir, I will fill them." He goes behind the counter and comes back with our drinks. "Here you are sir." I took off the lid and the cup had exactly the same amount of drink as before!!! I was so furious, I burst out laughing. I pointed this out to the guy and he mumbled something like "What can I do sir?"

Subway, this won't do. You've lost my respect.

Kids and drama on local TV stations

Talent shows have sprung up like mushrooms all over the landscape of Telugu TV stations. The don't need a lot of creative input from the producers. All you need to do is build a set, invite some judges and give out a big prize at the end. There are talent shows for singing, for dancing and for a singing/dancing combo where one team member sings and the other dances.

Then, some genius realized that if you make these shows with kids, you'll draw a lot more viewers. The cuteness factor is hard to beat. Everyone's constantly talking about "wow, how well is she singing inspite of being so young" or "wow, how well is he dancing" etc. This change to lower the age of the participants has been so prevalent that it's now hard to find a talent show where you can see any adults participate. That kinda sucks because inspite of the massive talent/age ratio in these kids' shows, the actual talent level isn't that high because, let's face it, they're still kids. But yeah, man these kids are cute!

Another wrinkle to these shows is the drama factor. The judges don't just give their grades after the performance. They'll throw in a "fight" or two. One judge might not agree with the judgement of another judge and he or she will make a big fuss about it. Sometimes they'll even walk out of the stage, right before the end of the episode, only to return back to the show based on some contrived explanation. Or they'll say something mean about the performer and the screen turns black and white as we focus on the shocked performer, only to have the judge say he was kidding and it's smiles everywhere. It's amazing how often they play out these same stunts without fear of "being caught". Doesn't speak too highly of the intelligence of my people, does it?

The gods of traffic karma strike!

It's that every now and again - not often, but occasionally - you get to be a part of justice being done. That really is quite a thrill when that happens. - Philadelphia

Like most people who suffer from road rage, I picture horrible things happening to people who I feel have done me wrong on the road. However even I will admit that it's just me taking it personally and even that I might share some of the responsibility for the wrongdoing. However I save my worst curses for those who are objectively bad and rash drivers. A motorcyclist might be driving two lanes away from me but if I see him weaving in and out at 25 mph above the rest of the traffic, I wish horrible things upon him. A crazy college kid in a truck trying to show off for his friends, shooting down some campus road at twice the speed limit, I truly pray bad things happen to him. It's because these people are putting everyone on the road at risk with little concern for those people or their families.

Today, I got the satisfaction of seeing said horrible things actually happen.

My folks and I were driving in a neighborhood in moderate traffic when I heard some motorcycle honking excessively. Considering how common it is to hear people honking in India, you should get an idea of how incessantly he was honking. I turned around and saw this guy driving what looked to be a souped up motorcycle, pull up really fast behind us. He was clearly trying to clear out traffic by honking so he could continue to zip down the road. My mental cursing and ill-wishing started immediately. Even as I was gnashing my teeth, the guy, who had passed us, revved up his bike really fast and even did an out-of-control wheelie. Thing is, I think he was new to riding that bike. He couldn't control the bike and hit a car from behind during his unintentional wheelie. I thought, good, he got his. But the traffic gods were not done. After he hit the car he veered off into the other side and went right under a truck coming from the other side. Yes! Luckily for that idiot, he managed to walk away from that crash. Of course, that only meant that everyone on the road, including my dad, felt free to let the scolding and shouting fly.

After a rather crappy couple of days, that really made my day.

Sick sick sick

God, I haven't felt this sick for this long in a while. Expert opinions seem to suggest that this is a combination of a heatstroke and food poisoning. I don't want to go into the nasty details but suffice to say that it had me looking up "hyperthermia" and "diarrhea" on Wikipedia to find out what was going on with my body. I couldn't sleep for more than a couple of hours at a stretch, but I was sleeping all day long. I woke up to take a shower but midway through ambling to the bathroom, I realized I wouldn't be able to make it and walked back to the bed and passed out.

I suppose one good thing was that for the first time in more than a decade I was with family when I fell terribly sick and so I could actually get some assistance when I needed it most. I haven't recovered yet but am slowly getting there.

The train journey to and from Chennai.

As I mentioned before, trains in India have undergone a big change. The second class sleeper coaches now accommodate 81 passengers instead of 72, which is a result of the addition of a side middle berth. This has been accepted as being a bad move by many, and is being withdrawn. During my recent trip to Chennai, I got a chance to experience the berths again and here's a summary of each of the seats on the train.

(These numbers are modulo 8 for the before and modulo 9 for the after.)

Seat #1 and #4:

Before: These are the window seats on the main side and correspond to the lower berth. These are coveted not just for the window seat but also because you don't need to climb anywhere in order to sleep, especially by the elder passengers.

Now: These seat numbers are exactly the same even now and just as coveted.

Seat #2 and #5:

Before: These are the middle seat and the middle berth. #2 was exactly identical to #5. Kinda awkward because you're at the mercy of the others sitting there in order to lower your berth to sleep.

Now: With a side passenger sitting with the main side, #5 becomes a little more cramped. #2 stays the same.

Seat #3 and #6:

Before: These are the aisle seat and the upper berth. Again, #3 was identical to #6. If you're younger or just unafraid of a little climbing, this is a great seat as well because you have the freedom of popping off to go sleep whenever you want. The berth is all your own. It does get a little hot in this berth and you get very little of the fan air striking you. So that's the negative here.

Now: Again, with the side passenger sitting on this side, #6 gets more cramped. #3 stays the same.

Seat #7:

Before: Side lower. This is primo real estate. Cream of the cream. Your seat is completely isolated so that much more freedom. If you're traveling with someone you know and that person's sitting opposite you, you can even stretch your legs as you sit. (Usually you can do that even if you don't know the other person.) And of course, when it comes to sleeping, this is the best berth in the house. You get space around you, and you can open and close the windows as you wish. The only downside is that on crowded routes, people without reservation tend to sit on this berth early in the morning, very illegally, I might add. Sometimes when this happens to me, I "inadvertenly" keep kicking them in my sleep.

Now: Funnily enough, this is one seat that has changed the least. While sleeping though, you get marginally less space above you because of the added middle berth, but qualitatively, it's the same as before.

Seat #8:

Before: This was the other side seat. Side upper. Almost as valued as the side lower in a different way. The seat is the same but while sleeping you get the freedom of going to sleep whenever you want, but you get less air circulation. Plus you don't get the annoying freeloaders sitting on your berth.

Now: Now this number corresponds to the side middle. While sleeping, this basically is as annoying as the other middle berth because you need to bother other people in order to lower your berth. While sitting, in a few trains I've seen this number get the side seat, in which case no problemo. But sometimes the seat for this number is added to the main side, so you have four people sitting on one side of the section. Very awkward.

Seat #9:

Before: Didn't exist.

Now: This is the side upper. When they added the side middle berth, they raised the side upper berth by an inch or two. That means that a berth that was once acceptable is now horribly cramped. You cannot turn around in that berth without hitting your elbows on the ceiling of the compartment. Also, you get the worst air circulation of anyone sleeping. Further, there's a guard rail that's been added which means that you can't stretch yourself outside the actual area of the berth - this is the only berth for which this happens. All these make this the worst berth in the section. Sometimes this seat is on the side, which makes it marginally acceptable. But if this falls on the main side, and you have sit cramped with three others, congrats! You've just landed the worst ticket possible.

With all that background, you'll appreciate it when I tell you that on my recent trip to Chennai (more on this in an upcoming post) I got assigned the side upper berth! Boy I was pissed! I did not even want to climp up into the berth. Luckily the train was very empty and I talked to the ticket collector and convinced him to change my seat. I asked for a lower berth but didn't expect to get it. And boy I was surprised when I got the side lower seat. Just like that I went from worst seat on the train to the best seat on the train. Fantastic!

Rage

Few things can up the blood pressure of an Indian like the mention of the word Pakistan. Things had been cooling off for a while at various points before and after the Kargil war, but after the Mumbai attacks, atleast for this writer, the hatred is back. And it is hatred, it's not rational. For example, while I don't want them to suffer, I want all 300 million residents of Pakistan to disappear. It's not like me to be violent but at some point you have to draw a line and this is my line. I suppose I'll settle for the elimation of all males of the ages 14-80. But yeah, they've got to go.

The attack on the Sri Lankan cricket team is just apalling. There are no words to describe the insanity. The Indian team was supposed to tour Pakistan and that tour got cancelled as retaliation for "26/11". So SL very graciously offers to tour in their stead to help out a fellow sub-continental team. (Now, SL was going to make money off this too, make no mistake, but it's certainly a nice gesture to make, since Pak had a lot more to lose than SL had to gain.) And instead of protecting the Sri Lankan team to best level possible, they threw them to the dogs.

Call this conspiracy if you will but there's a lot that stinks in this affair. Why did the Pak team leave the hotel at a different time? Where were the commandos? I'd bet a $100 to get $1 that the Pak team got a call beforehand warning them not to accompany the SL team.

And now we have Idiot #1, Ijaz Butt, denying there were security lapses. Idiot #2, Younis Khan basically threatening the world that if they boycotted Pakistan, it would lead to more terrorists. And my personal favorite Idiot #3 Javed Miandad calling for a ban on Chris Broad. Yeah, the guy only threw himself on another person to save his life. Perhaps Miandad would have liked Broad to shoot the innocent man? Then does he get a medal Mr. Miandad? Or maybe, like your personal heroes, the Taliban, Broad should kill innocent women and children?

And Younis Khan, how about you clean up your country first AND THEN ask for teams to visit your country. Tell you what, here's a deal for you. You start by killing a 100 terrorists each day, and say after a 100 years when you make a dent into this terrorist factory you call your homeland, and the rest of the world feels a little safer, we'll think about entering that festering hell-hole called Pakistan. Deal?

The animation: It's everywhere

Apparently one side-effect of the IT boom in India is the crash in production costs of animation. Everyone's doing it. There's an ad for cement that has bunch of workers dancing while building a building. There are political ads featuring cartoon animals and birds trash-talking the other parties. B-grade TV shows feature special effects that would be considered stunning a few years ago. I feel it's out of control, but hey, what do I know.