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When I first found out that I would have to leave the US and go to India, I was furious. I fought with everyone, from my wife to my parents, and even my future in-laws. Anything to avoid dealing with the hard facts. Two days ago, when we were driving around, I was reminiscing about my year in India and something hit me. I was actually very fortunate. Not in a generic "I got to experience things" way, which I do believe in to a certain level, but in a more tangible way as well. You see, I had to leave the US because I couldn't get an H1 visa in the lottery. But I still had a job, the job I'd been hired for, the job in Pune. Imagine if I was hired for a US position as I left college. And after working for an year in that job I didn't get my visa. I would have had to leave to India with no job in my hand. I would have been miserable. The way it played out, I had a job, my flight to India was paid for, and even a lot of my luggage was shipped for free.

I have always considered myself the luckiest person in the world. Again, not in an abstract way, but with the knowledge that things happened to me that were so improbable and yet so wonderful. So it's not hard for me to see the silver lining in this "vanavasam".

I really enjoyed keeping this blog. In many ways this is what helped me keep my sanity. I hope the loyal readers have enjoyed reading it as well. I will leave with this thought - the future is never as bad as you fear it. It however can be much better than you dream.

Looking back at the early entries (Things I am going to miss in the US)

Here's a look at what I thought I'd miss in the US and what really happened.

• Football - College and Pro. With the NBA, I'll still have access to the best part, the drama. But with football, I'll be missing a whole season.
  (This quote's been ringing in my head a lot - In "A few good men" when Tom Cruise tries to convince his client that he'll be home in six months, he says "Six months! It's nothing! It's a hockey season.")
• This I really did miss like crazy. But then again, maybe it was best that I avoided watching the Longhorns followed by the Colts.
  

• The Elections - This would have been a fun election to follow. I like both the candidates but they're so different. I'll miss the debates, the campaign ads etc. Theoretically I could catch them on the internet but it won't be the same.
• Again, I missed this too and regretted it.
  

• The multiplexing - Sure, there are multiplexes in India, but the people there are smart enough (or cheap enough) to have ushers at every screen, instead of one for the whole theatre. So no more jumping from show to show. For that matter with the low quality of movies (Bollywood, yuck!) and an almost guaranteed social life, I probably wouldn't want to do the hopping anyway. Nevertheless, I'll miss the two-fers, three-fers and the rare four-fers.
• Even I couldn't have predicted how bad I missed this. Not only was I not allowed to pull any multiples, the tickets were expensive and the food even more so. DISLIKE!
  

(The following are things I assume will not be easily available in India, I could be wrong)

1. Clean air - This is something I have gone accustomed to, so might be hard to do without.
• Yes, the air wasn't clean. Particularly in Pune where it was full of dust and smoke.
  
2. Absolute independence - Personalized transport, 24-hour stores, ability to do almost all transactions online.
• Probably the worst. I was on the money with this prediction.
  
3. Nuance - I might miss this the most of all. Nuance and subtlety in opinion, music, movies. Too much of "You're either with us or against us". On the other hand ...
• I would have exchanged nuance for any discussion but that didn't happen either.
  
4. Adherence to lines (queues) - Even as recently as two years ago this was pretty bad, with a lot of jostling and shoving. And I suppose I'll be exchanging my road rage for line rage.
• Hmm, call me crazy but this didn't bother me too much. Maybe because I didn't let it bother me. Or maybe I'm misremembering.

Overall the bad was as bad as it could be. No surprise there at all. But I will say that the wonderful surprise was the good, which I did not see coming at all.

Looking back at the early entries (Things I am looking forward to in India)

When I started the blog in July 2008, I wrote a few entries about what I'd miss in the US and what I'm looking forward to in India.

http://thedevilwentdowntopune.blogspot.com/2008/07/things-im-looking-forward-to.html

http://thedevilwentdowntopune.blogspot.com/2008/07/things-im-going-to-miss-in-us.html

Here's what I feel about them now (original writing in italics)

• Food, veggie food at that - No more "Does this have meat in it?" or "No carne, no pollo" or "Can I substitute the chicken with tofu?" Everthing's veggie, the veggie dishes more so. That and the fact that I'll be eating "regular Indian food as opposed to fancy restaurant type food that all tastes the same.
• This was fantastic, but probably overrated as of now. Maybe because I'm living with my inlaws and eating Indian food everyday.
  

• Cricket faces - I've been following cricket through the internet lately. It's very efficient but I am losing track of faces. The last time I watched Cricket consistently for a long period was in March 2007 when I was in India for a month. Hopefully now with the longer stay I'll get to see the faces (new faces) of not just Indian cricket but international players as well.
• Yes, I can now recognize a lot more faces and for that I'm very happy.
  

• Doing away with the awkward glancing at other Indian - If you're Indian, you know this still exists in the US. Recognizing another Indian and then looking away awkwardly. Well, seeing as I'll be surrounded by Indians, it won't be much of an issue. I guess I'll be swapping that for staring at non-Indian.
• Meh.
  

• Indian Film Magazines - Aah Filmfare, Cineblitz, how I've missed you guys. Don't worry, I'll be holding you in my arms soon. I can catch up all the made up gossip that is just so delicious.
• I didn't care much for this once I went to India. Hmm, maybe because of my cheapness. On the other hand, Indian gossip is shown in mainstream media, so maybe I didn't miss much.
  

• The train journey - The last time I travelled in a train, it was an a/c compartment, so I didn't really get to experience the rest. Atleast once I'd like to experience it again - the dirty floors, the magazines which you'd normally never even look at, the requests for lower berths, the illegal travellers who make your life a nuisance (especially if you have a side berth) and best of all, the food. Currently I'm working on a plan where I get sick atleast once by eating something in every train stop on one trip.
• Again, I didn't travel on trains as much as I'd like because Pune was much simpler to access by bus, and Chandigarh too far. But I did make a few trips which were fun, including a trip on Rajdhani, which was for 24 hours and kicked the train desire out of me!
  

• Low costs - I suppose I'm not really that excited about this because I don't think things are really that cheap in India. But nevertheless, I'll definitely be getting a kick the first 30 times that I get a dosa and find out that it costs only Rs. 20, or a movie that costs only Rs. 40.
• This will hit me more once I walk into an Indian restaurant I suppose. But yeah, I really enjoyed the cheap food everywhere.
  

• Rain - Just the smell alone is worth three months of low speed internet. Not to mention the accompaniments - the warm snacks that go with the rain, the feeling of being sealed in (in a good way) . Of course, it also comes with a bunch of negatives, like being sealed in (in a bad way) .
• The rain was overwhelming during the first few months. Soon it became a part of life, I suppose in a good way.
  

• Indian Intelligensia - I used to meet these people when I first came to the US, people who were very opinionated about the US, the caste system, grobal politics, religion and felt strongly to debate for hours on end. After a while, I think they either can't stand being here (in the US) anymore and go to India or mellow out. Well, they'll still be waiting over there in India and that should make for a bunch of fun evenings when I'll be bombarded with argumetns about why it's a good thing for the country that someone like Laloo Prasad Yadav exists, or why the US hegemony is doomed to end any second now.
• Wow, such a HUGE disappointment on this front. It was bad enough in Pune. In Chandigarh it was worse. ZERO intellectual debates. Sigh.
  

Things I "forgot"

Things that I "forgot": the wide open spaces, the fact that most people dress casual (maybe that's just an Austin thing), the polite customer service, the fact that the cashier gives you back your change down to the last penny, TV shows are actually live and you don't have to watch them by illegally downloading them, for that matter that Hulu is not blocked, you have to clean up after yourself since there are no maids, how the radar map on ForecastFox is specific to the state rather than the entire country, how I don't need socket adapters for my electronic appliances, the joy of washing machines and dryers that gives you clothes that are ready to wear.

But perhaps the biggest of them all - I forgot how quiet it is all day long. Entirely too spooky.

The end of an era (possibly)

It's been a hell of a time. 18 months. When I first heard I would have to live in India for a while I was in shock. I was in denial. I was pissed off as hell. But I did go. And while I wouldn't say "I would do it all over again", I definitely have learned a lot. About myself and my home country. I got to live in two cities that I had never visited before. Visited parts of the country that I didn't think I'd ever visit and met people that I wouldn't have met otherwise. Got to learn a LOT about Indian cultures that are not Telugu. Spent quality time with relatives, particularly my cousins.

The journey back was hell. I missed a piece of baggage that had ALL my certificates, about 2 kilos of silver, two gold coins, my camera, a couple of expensive gift cards and so on. Luckily it came home with a valuable lesson.

The first week back in Austin has been good. I have been driving the lady of the house crazy with my statements like "Oh wow, I forgot about ... " or "Oh man, I missed ...". She keeps saying, "It's only been 18 months, you can't possibly have forgotten all this stuff." Well I haven't forgotten as such. It's just new and fun.

Scary or sad?

(As I write these next few entries, I'm back in the US already. But I want to narrate a couple of incidents that happened during my last week there.)

As I finished my work with my bank on Friday, I waited outside for my dad to pick me up. I noticed a woman of about 30-35 walking toward me. She was thin, about average height, wearing a sari, with her mangalsutram prominently displayed in front. She walked up to me and said, in very good English, "Bhaiyya, can you do me a favor?" I said, "Well depends on what you need."

She went on to describe a fairly depressing tale (in a very weak voice). Apparently she had an inter-caste marriage, which caused her family to disown her. Her husband then ran away with a younger girl. She tried to go back to her family but they shut the gate in her face. Her young son keeps asking why grandpa won't talk to them. To make matters worse, doctors diagnosed her with cancer and she has only 6 months to live. Her son is crying because he recognizes she's going to be gone soon. Then she said something I didn't quite catch, but basically her landlord will let her take her stuff if she pays rent, and she is Rs. 300 short. So would I mind giving her that? "I am not some cheap woman, bhaiyya. I have an MBA. My b**tard husband, he put me in this position. I hate two things - lying and begging. And he made me do both, lying to my parents earlier, and now begging."

Now, the first thing anyone would think (as did I) is that she's a con artist. But the reason I wasn't so sure was because of her mangalsutram, which looked genuine, and because she spoke very good English. It was clear that she was Telugu, but she either assumed I was N. Indian, or she wanted to impress upon me that she wasn't some beggar, so she spoke entirely in English. Which probably meant that her story was true. So I had to make a decision. And as inhuman as it sounds, the calculation I made was - "I should give her atleast X so that I won't be an ass for ignoring a person in genuine trouble, and atmost Y so I won't look stupid if I realize later that she was lying." I ended up giving her Rs. 100.

I was aware of another possibility. That this was misdirection all along, and as soon as I gave her any amount, she would make a scene and try to imply that I was "paying her off" for something worse and blackmail me into paying more. So as soon as I gave her the Rs. 100 (which she took while still asking for more) I walked away and got into a bus, telling my dad over his cellphone that he didn't have to pick me up anymore.

Regardless, the whole incident made me feel very dirty and disgusted. At myself for not helping out more. At the woman's family and husband for behaving the way they did (assuming she was speaking the truth). And at the world for making me suspicious of everyone to the point where a person with truly genuine needs would not receive help because of the few rotten apples.

Raj Ghat

Did you know that at the concessions stall near Raj Ghat, they only sell Indian products? That means only Frooti, no Coke, Pepsi, etc. I guess Gandhiji's Swadeshi movement is still being carried out there.

As I might have mentioned here before, one of the big reasons I wanted to visit Delhi, particularly the historical parts, is because I'm reading this book on post-Independence India, and I've come to be more and fascinated with the history of the political leaders. So even though the "Raj Ghat" is not a "sexy" choice like Jantar Mantar or India Gate, I really wanted to pay my respects to the great man. On one hand I was really thrilled at the crowd there. Not only where there people from almost every state, there were people from almost every single country! A French couple was being chatted up in French by a desi guide. There was what looked to be an Iranian couple visiting the place. This is in addition to the numerous British and American tourists you see at all these tourist spots.

What was depressing was that everyone was treating this like any other tourist spot. "Smile" they kept saying as they stood in front of the actual samadhi. Smile? Come on, even Detective Pandurangarao had more sense in Chantabbai that you don't smile while posing in certain situations. And this is only the memorial of the father of the nation. Another guy, from Rajasthan, jumped over the barricade around the samadhi to pose right next to the marble and when the security guard finally caught him, he smiled shamelessly to say, "I was only trying to get close to Gandhiji." There was a huge crowd of school girls visiting the tourist sites all over Delhi that day, including Raj Ghat. One hand I was excited that kids were being taught a little bit of history, and I wanted to sit them down and tell them all about Gandhi. On the other hand I wanted to grab this fence-jumper and ask him what type of a message he's sending these kids with his antics.

The entire garden also contains the burial grounds of Devi Lal, Indira Gandhi, Rajiv Gandhi and Nehru himself. But most people don't know this. And even more people don't even care. Which is OK by me. But I smiled as I suddenly pictured Gandhi sitting up there in Heaven with the others and laughing out loud as he counted the number of visitors to his samadhi versus the others. "What do we have today? I think I might hit the 50,000 mark before lunch. And what've you got, Indira? 23? Rajiv - 12? Devi Lal? People don't even know you! Ha ha ha"

The last day at work

Boy, I'll be glad if I can just hold it together for a few more hours. It's been hard enough already, the packing, the planning has been overwhelming. But my team is determined to make it hard to leave. They got me bouquet of flowers. They called for a quick meeting and sat me down to share my thoughts. A little awkward to share my thoughts on demand, but I think I did a decent job. We got a group pic taken as well. My close chums in the team had bought me a jacket earlier which they got me to pick in advance.

Then all the senior staff in the office, and my team mates came out to a farewell lunch. 16 of them! I was really touched. Of course, there were awkward moments when they got me to speak about everyone and the good times in the office and so on. I'm not a big fan of these group emotional scenes so I was squirming in my seat. Particularly because there were a few there who were new to the office and a few I wasn't quite close with. But still, I appreciated them showing up. Later tonight we're going out for drinks even though I protested against it, and I'm told I'll be getting a gift there as well!

Overall it has been a sharp contrast to my last day in Pune. There I had to leave in a hurry, didn't have time to say my proper goodbyes. The journey from the office then was awkward as well involving two suitcases packed in a hurry, stuffed on a borrowed scooter, a tearful colleague and a smoke-filled bus. Today I got a royal sendoff in the office car taking me all the way to my apt to let me pack in peace. And while I am still a little behind on my packing as I type this up, I take joy in knowing that it won't be as bad the Pune experience.

The last weekend in Chandigarh

I was very happy that my last weekend in Chandigarh ended up being very "typical". I didn't just sit at home, or even do a whole lot of packing activities. Instead I did a lot of fun activities. Saturday morning I got ready very early. So I decided to have breakfast at the temple. There is only one time that this dhaba near the temple serves that I enjoy - samosa channa/samosa chat - but this place makes it better than any other place in Chandigarh. So I had my breakfast there and for good measure decided to visit the temple too. Normally this temple gets very busy during the weekends but that day I just walked right upto the deity. I even sat in the temple under the Sun and read my book for an hour. In the afternoon I took a bus to the main city and walked up to the rose garden. Unlike the last time I visited this place, the roses were in full bloom now and so were the couples! This is one area where Chandigarh scores over Pune - there are many more parks per capita here for couples to hang out together, or even for children to play.

That evening I was invited by my lunch lady to what I was told would be a "holi with flowers" but turned out to be a bhajan. And what was worse, she wanted me there only to shoot videos. Even so I didn't mind but my camera batteries were low. So I asked her to buy me some batteries which I'd pay her back for - she said she couldn't. So screw her, I shot barely a couple of minutes before my camera died, and I took off soon after! Then I got home, freshened up and went out for dinner and a movie with my team and our boss. Dinner was good. We watched "My name is Khan" which I really enjoyed much to my surprise.

On Sunday I went to the Rajasthani mela that was going on in the city. That was fun. The food in particular was very interesting. There was a dosa-type dish called chilla. The jalebis was fantastic - thin, and slightly chewy. Like I said, I was glad I got to do all these things before leaving.

The "lame duck" phase starts

Six more days to go in this office and it shows. I have no projects on my table right now. The only thing I'm expected to do from now till I leave is train the new guy and maybe some administrative stuff. Today in particular I sat around doing nothing. It really sucks. I fully understood the meaning of the term "lame duck". You're no longer an integral cog of the machine, the machine just goes on functioning without you - hell, you're transferring the duties to the newer cogs. Well I just hope to keep my dignity intact these last few days and make it out on a positive note.

Universal religion (Haridwar series)

You know how in big cities you run into a very heterogeneous crowd? It was like that out there in Haridwar and Hrishikesh. On one end of the spectrum we saw a bunch of foreigners (White folks) with a bunch of cameras around their necks.

(It came to my attention later that one reason we saw a lot more foreigners in Hrishikesh rather than at Haridwar was because of a certain weed that is found in abundance here. Apparently this weed grows all over the place in the mountainous regions but not so much in the valley. So these foreigners come here in search of this weed. What they do this weed I don't know. But yeah, apparently they're all fans of this weed.)

Then we saw the local as usual. We saw a Gujrati family sitting in front of us while we waited for the ropeway car. There was a Bengali family of a couple of grandparents and their teenage granddaughter. Then there was a group of loud Telugus taking pictures of a sadhu at a temple. The bus taking us back from Haridwar to Chandigarh was half-full of Kannidigas! (These guys actually got off the bus well before Chandigarh; I wonder what small village or town they all are settled in.) And we heard bits of Tamil and Malayalam as well during this trip. A very feeling to see all these people here.

The challenge of the "shocker" (Haridwar series)

When I told my brother I would be visiting Haridwar, he challenged me to get a picture of one of the sadhus throwing up a "shocker" sign. I was very intrigued by this challenge. So almost from the time I landed I started trying to get this picture. I knew that no one out here knew what that sign would mean, so that wasn't the concern. It was just that most of these people (to me) seemed to be genuinely religious. And I couldn't get myself to trick them into throwing up a rude sign. It would have been much easier if I saw what I felt was a "poser".

We saw a hardcore sadhu - ash-covered, almost naked - sitting near the Ganga at Haridwar. I must admit I couldn't gather the stones to go talk to him. But when I told my friend what I had in mind, he walked right up to the sadhu and asked him if we could take his picture. He said yes. Then he asked him if he wouldn't mind putting up his fingers "like this". He politely smiled and refused. Fail!

The other sadhus we saw were either rushing along somewhere or, like I said, sincerely praying. The closest I got was when we met this guy dressed up as Hanuman. He was "blessing" people for a small fee and I knew I could easily talk him into throwing up the sign. He did and I got my picture.

The religious convention (Haridwar Series)

You know how at a medical convention you have a lot of vendors related to the medical field trying to sell their stuff? There was a similar scene out there in Haridwar with babas selling themselves instead. One was offering yoga classes, another meditation. But the best ones of all were offering to solve global warming and cure AIDS (not kidding). It was just pathetic. But hey, you gotta sell yourself to your target demographic. (Someone's dying to add "Marketers 3, Customers 0" in the comments).

And of course, keeping with the disgusting theme of "soliciting" visitors to their meta-temples that we saw in Jammu, here too there were a bunch of "priests" shouting at us, asking us to pay their temple a visit. And while you are in their corner, you were asked to donate something, preferably a C-note based on the not-so-subtle hints they were giving. You see, in S. India that stuff won't fly. People are a lot smarter or atleast a lot more cynical. Thank you N. India for turning me off of temples for the foreseeable future.

Visiting Haridwar and Hrishikesh (Haridwar series)

This weekend I visited Haridwar, possibly my last trip during my Chandigarh stay. It was a fun little trip. The cities are pretty close to Chandigarh, 5 hours in fact. (That is too far to be able to go there on a day trip, and too close to have good quality buses, like sleepers, plying from Chandigarh.) Very little planning went into it. My motivation was primarily to just spend some time under the sun and on the banks of the Ganga so I would have been satisfied just going there, reading a book and coming back. I was however counting on good weather, which was granted to me. Just perfect conditions to explore a couple of cities.

Both these cities are on the banks of the river Ganga. We visited Hrishikesh first, which is upriver, probably the cleanest we ever got to see Ganga. Lakshman Jhoola, the "Apartment Complex of the Gods", Ram Jhoola and got to spend some time just sitting on the banks of Ganga. I took my only dip in the river over here, somehow taking a bath in front of a ton of people in Haridwar didn't appeal to me. Haridwar was a lot more hectic and a lot more "commercial" than Hrishikesh. We did visit a couple of temples that were up on hills. This time we didn't try to play cute (like for Vaishno Devi in Jammu) by climbing them, we just took the ropeway.

It was interesting visiting a place that I last visited about 20 years ago and trying to remember stuff. Like that picture on the Lakshman Jhoola. The dip in Ganga at Haridwar and visiting the temple up on the hill. Faint memories from ages ago. Still, it was very relaxing to visit those places and see those sights. For a last trip, it wasn't too shabby.

Threatening the bank

A new grocery store opened up in my neighborhood and since I was dissatisfied with the existing store, I started frequenting this new store. Today morning I walked in to pick up a soda on my way to work and noticed that the shopkeeper was on the phone so I decided to wait for him. As I waited I couldn't help hearing what he was saying. I had obviously caught him in the middle of his complaint to a customer service representative (in Hindi)-

"... saw the number on my caller ID and decided to call back...some Rohit Malhotra (not the real name)...Of course, that's why I called this number. How dare this guy? He dares question me about a Rs. 253 payment? What does he think of himself? A guy making 1.5 lakhs a year dare call up a guy making Rs. 50 lakhs a year and speak rudely? I have raised a Rs. 60 lakh loan in one day. No offense madam but do you have the ability to raise that amount? Doesn't that then tell you that I'm an important man?... I am on my way to the main branch to give a written complaint. I want this rascal to get the proper punishment. Are you talking from Pune? Well I don't care, I am from Mumbai, I know a few people. It'll hardly take me 10 minutes to trace this guy and then if I find him, he won't be able to walk for the rest of his life. Hell, all I need to do is withdraw my Rs. 6 crore fixed deposit and blame this guy for it. That'll show him. Manager get fired for losing Rs. 10 lakh accounts, this guy will get crushed if I take any action. Well I know this guy is around that's why I called you, tell this bastard to take care of himself because I'm coming for him."

After he hung up the phone (I had been standing there for 20 minutes atleast) he turns to me and tells me his side of the story. Apparently the guy called to make a reminder for a Rs.253 installment on a Rs. 60 lakh loan. And when he couldn't find the original recipient of the loan he insisted on talking to his wife and then his father-in-law who is sick with cancer. After cursing the caller out for a while, he went on tell me another story -

"I sent one of my servant to collect a certificate from the bank and this one guy at the bank asked the servant to pay a Rs. 3500 bribe. My servant came back and told me about it. So I got in my car and drove to the main branch, sat in front of the manager and silently wrote out a check for my entire (a few crores) deposit and asked him to transfer it to their competitor. The manager was shaken up and asked me what had happened. I told him and he summoned the guy from the other branch. The manager then told this clerk, "I am going to lose my job over losing this man's account. I will in turn make sure that you never work in any other bank in your life." The clerk started crying and fell at my feet and tried to offer me a reverse bribe to accept my certificate. I told him that I didn't want my certificate here, I want him to deliver it to my farm (a few 100 kms away), at 6am. The guy showed up with that certificate at 6am. So yeah, I am not a man to be trifled with." 

The funniest part of this whole incident is that the bank he was got the rude phone call from in the morning was the same bank that called me and asked me to deposit more money!!! I am really thinking of taking my money out and storing it in a sock or something.

A great wife

Everyone should be so lucky as me.

On a day that is already quite forgettable, I have to thank my wife for doing her part to try and make it better. The SuperBowl was going on and I woke up at 5am to watch it. And by watch of course I mean that I just follow the game on ESPN's gamecast. It's quite good. With that and the commentary from a few sports blogs I usually have a good idea of what's going on on the field. But my wife couldn't "take anymore of (me) sitting in front of a computer hitting refresh". So she set up her webcam and pointed it at the TV. And she HATES setting up the webcam :)

Of course, the bandwidth limitations at my end prevented me from enjoying the game too much but I did get to catch a few glimpses of the game. Later I had to ask her to turn it off and just put the audio on. So I got to enjoy the play-by-play as it was happening, the closest to watching a live NFL game as I ever got this season. We shall not speak of the game itself or the aftermath. Like I said, this day is quite forgettable. But yeah, I will always remember the early part of the day.

More lessons corporations should take from the juice vendors

Dear McDonald's workers in India. Look, we're all Indians here, right? Let's not pretend that we like our soft drinks the way the American do - container full of ice with the soda taking up the gaps in between. You wouldn't like it if I served your overpriced soda like that. Why would you think I would want mine like that? Particularly after I specifically told you I didn't want ice in my drink? Dude, I don't care what your bosses told you. Help a brother out, willya? Next time I ask for a soda with no ice, I want a cup, FULL of soda, and NO ice.

Meanwhile at yet another juice shop today another "little guy" looked at my glass which was 90% full and popped in another full orange to squeeze out enough juice to fill my glass to the brim.

Shame on your McDonalds, and shame on you Subway.

Bonding over Dhokla

I happened to find myself in the Chandigarh market area (as opposed to Panchkula where I normally work, live etc) one Tuesday evening. I finished my work quite early and I didn't want to go home yet. So I walked into a sweet shop to pick up a snack. I decided on Dhokla, one plate. The guy behind the counter weighed out 250 gms of the stuff and as he was closing the box I stopped him and said (in Hindi) - "Add some more (chili) peppers to the box." The guy broke into a huge smile. "The joy of eating Dhokla is mainly the peppers. We get all sorts of crazy people here who ask us to remove the peppers and it drives me crazy." And so he went on while he wrapped up my dhokla box. I think I made his day :)

DO NOT. DOUBT. MY. MATH.

As arrogant as I come off as, I am terrified of making mistakes. Because I HATE IT when I'm wrong. Having said that, there's nothing I hate more than when someone suspects the accuracy of my work without giving me the benefit of doubt.

I had a face-off with my current manager a few months ago, when I did make a mistake. The mistake was mostly my fault, and while there were redeeming circumstances, I take the blame. The mistake itself wasn't big, it was just compounded by the fact that it happened during this particular analysis, because it took so long to run the analysis each time we made a change. But from that day on, I felt like he's been constantly suspicious of the quality of my work. He's always checking my work and asking me insultingly detailed questions about if I'd checked my own work. I put up with it because, well, I'd earned it. But I think I'd more than redeemed myself with the quality of my work before and after that incident. But it doesn't seem to be enough for him.

Today the younger engineer was working on a project that I'd worked on about four months ago. (The customer wanted some modifications done to the structure and we were trying to see how much these mods would help.) Over the course of today's work, they came upon a certain calculation I'd performed to calculate a force. The original report done by another company had made a bunch of assumptions and (in my opinion) oversimplified the problem. My own calculations were more detailed and thorough. My manager didn't understand the calculations, not because he couldn't, but because he didn't want to work through the calculus. He called me over to explain my work and I walked him through it. He still didn't understand it but sent me back to my desk. He then called our boss over and in hushed tones tried to tell him that my calculations were suspect/wrong. I was fuming as I overheard their conversation (they were sitting one station away from me) but I didn't get up to defend myself. After listening to everything, our boss, who has a little more faith in me, called me over to explain again. So I did. (Honestly this was a 11th-grade calculus problem.) He took his time and gave my work his nod. As a check, he suggested we run a simplified model that would check my calculus. It worked, I was right.

Man, I wanted to let out a huge whoop of success at that moment and scream obscenities at my manager but obviously I couldn't. So, let me do it on my own blog - F*** YOU!!!!!

HR faux pas

After the fiasco with the previous HR advisor who had to be fired, the company hired a new HR advisor. To train this new HR advisor a couple of HR managers showed up and our existing HR brought the whole gang (all women by the way) around for introductions. The HR managers, who are based in Dubai (an American) and Singapore (a Singaporean) respectively, spent more than a few minutes chatting with us. The S'pore HR started of by saying, "Let us know whatever you need, we're here to help you in any way." Then out of nowhere, "In fact, we can even help you find girlfriends if you need." (What??) It didn't stop there - "In fact, our new HR advisor here is single, just letting you know." That poor girl (the new HR advisor) turned 10 shades of crimson at that.

Since there was this banter going on, one of the engineers said, "You know, we've been asking (the present HR) to hire more females engineers." which brought a lot of laughter. To that the HR responded, "Well, I'm trying. It's just that the qualifications for the post are so high that no girls are qualified for this position." Now I agree with that as a matter of fact - the number of highly qualified female engineers, particularly in India, is very small. But come on, as an HR, and in particular as a woman, you can't make statements like that! That's for sexist guys like me to make! Wow! The White chick was just squirming at this point thinking about all the lawsuits that would have been brought against the company if this conversation had been taking place in the US.

The plastic bag ban

A lot of cities in the country are trying to impose a ban on plastic bags. I must say that I don't fully understand how bad plastic bags are for the environment (as opposed to paper bags) or how much their net cost is compared to their net utility, but for now I'll play along because at the very least, since we don't have a proper garbage disposal system in the country, I don't want to see these plastic rags just strewn all over the place.

The AOC centre in Hyderabad has prominent signs that advertise this ban on plastic bags. In Chandigarh, in the time that I've been here, I've seen a marked decline in the usage of plastic bags. More and more shopkeepers refuse to give you plastic bags citing pressure from various sources (presumably the police). Of course the pressure doesn't seem to be a constant thing because these very same vendors have reverted to using plastic bags when I checked a few weeks later. The customers for their part seem to be showing up with reusable bags to get groceries etc. Let me also qualify this observation by noting that my sample space is very small, I've seen this happen only a handful of times. But it is more than I've ever seen before and that's something I suppose.

From my side I have no qualms about using plastic bags. My entire "trash" situation is dependent on me using plastic bags to store my trash, which is thrown away by the maid when it gets filled up. But I justify it to myself by thinking about how many fewer plastic bags I am using because I don't buy groceries as regularly as the others here.

The breakup

I am not really a breaking-up kinda guy. For better or for worse I
have never had to break up with anyone. Till today. Today I had to
tell my apt broker that I'm leaving Chandigarh. If you remember, this
is the guy that is constantly "asking me out". I hope he just thinks
of me as a friend but it's very hard to tell. Normally I make friends
quite easily but this guy is the boring human being on the planet. He
and I have virtually nothing in common. Even cricket, which is usually
a safe topic, is something he doesn't follow. So debating Libertarian
policies and "going for it on fourth down" are definitely out of the
question. And I have consciously avoided "leading him on" as a friend
but at the same time, I didn't want to just ignore him since he is my
broker after all and I want my security deposit refunded as cleanly as
possible when I leave.

I never hid my intentions to leave C'garh but still, as I walked into
his office today to tell him, I was very conscious of those puppydog
eyes looking at me. "Tussi na jaao". "It's not you, it's me. Well it's
my wife actually." Man, I hope I never have to do that again.

The dabba problem

After we moved to our new office, we tried a few different options for
lunch. The other "dabba aunty" couldn't provide us lunch here. We
tried the canteen from the office upstairs but they stopped catering
to people who don't work in that office. We then came across this
provider who is very professional (with a website and a phone number)
who provides lunches in insulated boxes. I took upon the
responsibility of handling accounts with him - I'd gather the orders
from everyone in the office and relay them to the supplier and later
gather money from everyone and pay the supplier.

The system worked well for about a week before it started falling
apart. A second group of people who apparently didn't want to deal
through me contacted the supplier directly. This meant he had two
accounts now. In addition to that a bunch of people started calling
him individually and ordering their lunches. The problem of course was
that the guy would just deliver a big bundle of lunch boxes which then
were subjected to a free-for-all. Unfortunately a few chosen a**holes
decided that even if they didn't order lunch that day, they were
entitled to eating whatever lunch they could get their hands on. This
meant a few people didn't get their lunches, and we couldn't track who
ate and who didn't. The problem is compounded by the fact that there
are a few people who don't eat their lunches at the lunch hour.

The first step in trying to solve this problem was to have the lunches
labeled by the team or customer. Then one genius from my team decided
that reading labels was too much work and just picked up a lunch from
another team's set. Then a person from that team wanted to eat a lunch
with my team's name on it and I refused because I thought my teammate
still had to eat. This became a HUGE source of tension at work and the
facilities manager had to start stepping in to restore order. Another
a**hole in the meantime tried to imply that he would pay for only
those lunches he ATE rather than those lunches he ORDERED.

The last two days I spent atleast half the day sorting out this mess.
And starting Monday the people in this office can graze on the grass
outside for all I care. I am not involved with this process anymore.

C-c-c-combo breaker

There's this fantastic program on ETV here - Paadutha Theeyaga. It's a
singing competition hosted by SP Balasubramaniam. He's a fantastic
host and the program is great television. It focuses on good singing
rather than drama for its ratings. In fact earlier seasons of that
show resembled Classical music competitions instead of a film music
contest which it is. SPB is living legend who worked with everyone who
was anyone in the industry and anyone who loves learning about music
or about the music industry would love watching this program.

I am giving you this introduction to give you some context and to let
you know that this is a very classy program. So by extension the ads
that are shown during breaks cater primarily to upper middle class
viewers, basically an educated, slightly older, conservative crowd.
Ambica agarbatti, Cooking oils, there's a company that sells milk,
real estate ads, soaps, religious commercials etc. One thing you
definitely don't find here is motorbike ads. So in the middle of all
these ads, every single week, there's an for "****** condoms"!!
What??? What is a condom ad doing in the middle of all these other
ads? It always throws me off. It's just creepy to think about all
these middle class, middle aged people using these condoms.

Pune is better than Chandigarh in another way

I went shopping yesterday and found myself in a bookstore. My eyes
were drawn to a bunch of books including the latest Malcolm Gladwell
and the sequel to Freakonomics. I was going to purchase both of them
but they were a little too expensive at those prices. Immediately I
thought back to my time in Pune, about how I almost never bought any
new books from the stores. As soon as a book hit the store, a pirated
copy of that would show up on the streets.

Now here's what is impressive in retrospect. The books that were
pirated weren't just the most popular and "easy reading" stuff like
you get everywhere - your John Grishams, DaVinci Code, etc. You'd get
the slightly offbeat books as well. And not just that, the vendors
were usually aware of the worth of most of these books and basically
you couldn't hope to "score a good deal" from them. (It always threw
me off to watch these guys, wearing these shabby clothes, talking
about how this particular Malcolm Gladwell book isn't as good as his
previous one. It's entirely possible that he's just repeating what he
heard from another customer, but still, very impressive.) More
importantly, what this means is that the customers these stores got
were well-read people who asked for (and got) the rarer books pirated.
(At this point I'd like to ask that we just leave out the entire
discussion on ethics and legality of pirating books for now.) It's
very impressive when you think about how the supply/demand forces
manifest themselves here and give you an insight into the population
of the city.

Of course in Chandigarh, outside of a bookstore, I'll be lucky to get
a conversation with anyone about any book. I'll even settle for a
discussion about why Chetan Bhagat sucks. Any takers?

Lessons corporations should learn from a juice vendor

There's an orange juice vendor at my "bus stop". (I saw "bus stop"
because it's not a bus that picks me up but a company car, that too
unofficially.) Very recently I started drinking a glass of freshly
squeezed orange juice from him while waiting for my pick up. Just once
in a while. Because of the rather unhygienic practices these street
vendors use while cleaning their glasses/soup bowls, I try not to
frequent them, and when I do, I try to arrive early before ... well
let me not describe the cleaning process because it's something I'm in
denial about. Anyway, today morning I showed up and asked him to make
me a glass of orange juice. He peeled 5 oranges and put them in the
juicer (squeezer) and squeezed out the juice. When he was done, the
glass was 90% full. I fully expected him just hand over the glass to
me, and I wouldn't even have complained. But he silently peeled
another orange and squeezed out enough to top off the glass! I was
really impressed.

Now, this is the proverbial "little guy", whose profit margin was
significantly cut into by that extra orange he had to peel. Let's
compare it with the "big guy" - the Subway that's in the food court
near our office. This is already in a food court in a mall, so the
prices are already jacked up. This Subway (for that matter any Subway
I've visited in India) NEVER fills up the soda/pop/cool drink
container to the brim. A few times I've popped the top and showed the
empty space in the container but they make some or the excuse not to
top it off. There's an Ovenfresh in the same mall that has the same
disgusting practice of not topping off the container.

It's shameful and pathetic that these corporations behave like this.
I'm sure it's because it's in India and some marketing a**hole did a
study to determine that Indians in these places don't complain about
losing out on a little bit of soda because they don't want to look
cheap by complaining, and it is now corporate policy to cheat the
customers. Another way in which the rich get richer and the poor get
poorer in India.

Breaking the news to the boss

The time had finally come for me to leave my company, atleast this office. I told my boss about my plans to go to the US. He said that he was expecting this and wasn't too upset. He requested that I stay till end of Feb if possible so that the new employee can come in and take over. Meanwhile he said that he'd talk to my local manager and inform him of the details. He also said he'd talk to the HR himself and advise me later, on when I should submit my resignation.

 

Man, it was super nerve-racking and I got all anxious before I walked in. My heart was beating so loud that I thought I would faint. I am trying to think of all the times I have felt this jittery/anxious before and a few interviews come to mind, and the time I met my girlfriend (now wife) in person the morning after having our first big heart-to-heart talk over the phone. But I don't think I ever had to psyche myself up to the level I had to today. Once I started though it was smooth and fact that he was sort of expecting this made it a little easier. It would have been perfect if he had assured me of a job over there but still, I suppose there is a limit to how many things can work in your favor in a given year.

One weird call!

I got a call from a local number today. When I picked up, it was from my bank. "Sir, I am from XXXXXX bank. You have an account with us, don't you? Well, is everything alright? I sit at the cash desk and I wanted to check that everything was alright, and to ask if you had any issues with our service." I was impressed and told her that I was quite happy with the service and I thanked her for checking. Then she said that since I was happy with the service, if I could recommend any new customers. I said that I would try.

Then she said, "Sir, then could you do us a favor? What is your average balance in your account. Basically at the end of each month, we need more money in the bank. Could you please deposit more money in the bank at the end of each month?" I was shocked at this request. I said, "No." "No? Why not?" she asked. Though I should have hung up at that point I decided to be polite and explained to her that I couldn't deposit more money at the end of each month because I get paid only once a month. "Sir we need more funds in the bank at the end of each month. So could you please consider putting in money?"

After I hung up I began to get extremely worried. This isn't some podunk small bank. But at the same time, I don't want to suddenly find out that I can't withdraw my money in an emergency. I am seriously worried.

I think this is a little too much

Remember I wrote a while ago about how there's a certain manager in my office that insists on hiring only pretty girls for his team? Well a month ago he decided to "promote" one of our two receptionists by giving her a job in his office. We have two receptionists and while both are good at their jobs, one of them is prettier, or atleast more glamorous than the other. Guess which one got "promoted"? Still, it was OK, no harm no foul. To replace this girl now, they have been having interviews. And all of a sudden today we were told that the other receptionist is being let go. This came as quite a shock to us since it's like a small family out here and anyone leaving is quite sad. The official version is that the girl was making a lot of mistakes. The unofficial version is that the two newer receptionists are prettier and the girl was let go to accommodate these two. Wow.

How cold it is out here

I'm sure I've written in the past about how hot it gets here during the summers. Apparently winter weather took offense and decided to show me who the dominant season is. It's terrible. I had a chance to get some perspective when I visited Hyderabad and the lowest temperature there was the highest temperature in C'garh. My parents kept talking each day about how it was "getting colder" and I kept saying, "If you say so," while sitting around in shorts. Here, when I come home from work, I quickly change into my nightwear and sit on the bed, covered with a thick blanket.

As I've told many people before, it's so cold INSIDE my room that my breath fogs up. One night I went to bed wearing a regular woolen cap on top of a "monkey cap", two pairs of socks on my feet, two layers of clothing and two blankets on top of each other. In the mornings, I have to heat my water for about 45 mins before I can shower with it. Normally I overheat the water so I can bring the temperature down to the exact temperature I want with a few mugs of colder tap water. Now the tap water is so cold that even boiling water cools down fast with just a couple of mugs. I have to be check the temperature of the water between half-mugs to make sure it doesn't get too cold. After showering I have to dry up myself really fast and rush into my clothes because otherwise any moisture on my skin starts evaporating in the dry air and that completely negates all the effects of the hot shower. On the days that I have to wash my hair it's worse because I have to then worry about drying my hair thoroughly or risk my head freezing up. Normally I shave after my bath. But now I can't stand there wet while shaving or I'll just freeze standing there. So shaving is a special occasion that I need to plan for in advance - TWO buckets of heated water so that I can shower, shave and then shower a little more to counter the freezing I had to endure while shaving.

This is mostly due to the poor insulation here. The walls do a very poor job of blocking the cold or keeping in the heat. I finally got my hands on a room heater with an inbuilt blower. The guy who gave it to me told me that running this thing for an hour is enough to heat up the room. Yeah right! I ran it all night long and I still had to bundle up under the blankets. But atleast it was comfortable this time. The last two nights I kept waking up every two hours from the cold. Luckily this week the work load is non-existent so it hasn't hurt me too bad. And who knows, next week by this time the warming might have already started.

"... you know how it is in government jobs ..."

After a well-deserved break in Hyderabad for Christmas and New Years', I traveled back to C'garh. On my train from Delhi to Chandigarh, I sat next to a nice chatty lady who works in C'garh. She works in a govt. office here and lives in Delhi, so she commutes each weekend back to Delhi to visit her family. Perhaps the most interesting thing I learned about her was her schedule. Apparently she usually prefers to travel by bus when she goes back to C'garh and this train trip was the exception. Usually she takes the bus on Monday mornings. Now, I asked her, wouldn't that bus come into Chandigarh pretty late? "Well", she replied, "I make it to work by about 1pm or so, and you know how it is in government jobs, as long as I make it before the end of the day no one complains."

I'm obviously aware of the notorious levels of slackitude in government offices in India but this was clearly a new low. Not only does she talk about getting in to work late, she does that every week. And later she mentioned that she left work early on Fridays to get back home (to Delhi) in time. This means that in an average 40-hour week, she's working only 34-hours. That's 15%, or almost an entire day. I suppose if money is not an issue, a government job IS the best thing to do.