A close shave

(Oh I love the pun in that title!)

I went to a barber here since my hair was getting way too long for this heat. By the way, if I haven't made it abundantly clear, this place is hell on earth when it comes to heat and the sooner Calgon takes me away, the happier I'll be. So anyway, I'm sitting in the chair and getting my haircut when some guy walks into the store. He's some sort of collection agent for some neighborhood thing like protection or maybe festival funds or something, or maybe just the owner of this strip mall. Basically he starts talking to the barber, who's a young kid of about 20 years, about some fake currency that the barber gave this guy. The barber was trying to explain that it was someone he knew who paid him with that note, and so it's probably not intentional. The other guy told him to look out for these notes and left. Since I was getting my hair cut, I had my head down and I asked the barber if they were talking about fake notes and then said, "Damn, I was going to pay you with a fake note, now I can't." When I didn't hear a chuckle I looked up to see the barber with a look of concern on his face. I suddenly realized that he might not think this funny, and that he had a blade in his hand!!

"I'm kidding" I said hastily. He cracked a very small smile and resumed cutting my hair. Then he started explaining a little about the fake note. Apparently it was a friend, and "you know how you don't really examine notes from friends". And then he started telling me that he was quite an expert in telling fake notes. And then mentioned that he once swapped out Rs. 50,000 worth of fake notes for someone for Rs. 16,000. This guy was a money launderer!!! What the hell!! Where do I meet these people? Of course, it's possible that he was just bragging, but still, what an odd thing to brag about.

The funniest part was after the haircut, when I paid him with a Rs. 100 note, he examined the note very carefully before giving me my change. Some people just don't have a sense of humor.

Where's a corrupt officer when you need one?

As a part of my Visa application, I need certification from a police station that tells the US embassy that I have a clean (or no) record. So I work my butt off trying to figure out where to go to with my application, somehow get to the courthouse in the killer heat and find the office I need to deal with. "No problem" they tell me, "Just show us one of ..." and recites a list of documents I don't have with me because I have been in this apartment for a very short period of time. I was pretty shocked, since this might delay my visa application.

What was weird was that I kept hoping he would pull the routine I'm so used to - "Hmm, sorry sir, you know how it is .... you know, there is one way...it'll cost you a bit though". Nope. I'd heard the cops in Chadigarh were honest but this is unsettling. I was really hoping to just handle the matter then and there but apparently these know only the "right way" to do things. Damn it.

Can't fight the grease

Last night I went out for a little shopping and decided to grab a quick snack in lieu of my usual dinner. I choose Pav Bhaji and if I die of heart attack today, you know that was the culprit. This is how the guy over there made it. He scraped in some of the mashed up curry and cooked it in a few teaspoons of butter. He took a big slab of panner, about the size of his hand and diced it and added it to the curry. He topped it off with another cube of butter. Then he added, I swear to God, an entire stick of butter to the pan, and toasted the bread in it till it absorbed all the butter! I guess I have to admire the fact that the restaurant is able to provide such a high-calorie meal for only Rs. 25. I mean, for someone who has to perform manual labor, this meal would be a cheap source of a high number of calories. But for someone like me, it was a nightmare.

It was mistake in the end. I should have learned from my previous visit to this store. I had lunch here a few weeks ago and that was unforgettable. Four chapathis soaked in butter on each side. A dal makhani with a cube of butter melting into it slowly. A shahi panner which itself would have enough calories for a day. A saag panner which, far from being healthy, was served with two finger lenghts of panner cubes on top. Not to mention the dessert. How do the people here eat like this and survive, let alone be thin?

Another picture post

A Denver Nuggets jersey that I saw in Manali. It didn't have any player's name or number. Just this jersey sitting there in a random story. I don't even know where to begin asking questions here - is there a market for this? Who is buying this stuff?





Similarly, this kid with a Patriots cap. This is the kid who delivers our lunch dabbas and he's a cute kid and smiles a lot and we all like him. Till the day he showed up wearing this cap! I wanted to tell him all about Bill Belicheat and Tom Brady abandoning his pregnant girlfriend and the rich tradion of the dirty players on the Patriots roster but I figured he couldn't care less.



This was printed at the entrance of an ATM in Manali. Read carefully. For "cast with drawls". Really? That's not freaky? I take my cash out of the ATM and it says to me "Y'aaawwll doin' OK?"







This was inside another ATM. These are instruction on spotting genuine notes, and they're printed in English and Hindi. Except, they used a Rs. 1000 note for the English instructions and a Rs. 500 note for the Hindi ones! There's a go-to joke here - that it's because the Hindi-speaking folks are never going to see a Rs. 1000 note and so they don't need to know how to spot a fake one. But I'm not going there. That's just wrong!



It's kinda hard to see in this picture because I shot it with my cell and couldn't focus very well but this is a cell phone sold in India. The number pad has English letters (Latin) as well as Hindi (Devnagri) ones! So you can basically store numbers in Hindi. That's pretty nifty.

An epidemic of noise

One annoying habit that people are developing fast is playing audio on their phones out loud. Either the songs on their cells, or even FM radio. They put their phones on "speakerphone" mode and just play these songs out loud. This happens on buses, in bus stops, in (small) restaurants, in autorickshaws and even as they walk. It's incredibly annoying and almost no one ever objects. In a few rare cases it is good to have that music, like on long bus journeys or when the bus breaks down. But most of the time, I can do without it. Count this in the category of ways in which technology is bad.

Disgusting eating practices

At lunch the other day, I was eating with a colleague who's North Indian. It struck me as weird and frankly disgusting that he was using both his hands to eat his chapathi. He'd hold it with one hand and tear off a piece with the other. From my childhood I'd been told not to use the left hand while eating, except for holding the glass of water to drink. In our family, and I think in all S. Indian families, we learn how to tear off pieces of dosas, puris and chapathis with one hand (use the last couple of fingers to pin it against the plate and then use the thumb, forefinger to tear off a piece). So yeah, when I saw this guy use his left hand (well-washed) I couldn't help wince. Till I saw him wincing. He was looking at me as I was eating my rice. I was eating with his hands, while he was using his spoon. He clearly thought that THAT was digusting! I guess that taught me not to judge eating practices.

Visiting Manali: People along the way

1. The little girls in the snack store - After visiting the Hidimba temple, I sat at a small store to get some breakfast. There were two girls in there, about 8-10 years old, kids of the store owner, who had presumably just woken up. One of them was very pretty, with "Asian" features. The other, her sister, was a lot plainer. The plainer sister was very angry and cranky, she had asked someone to comb her hair for her but the guy had to warn her not to cry, because her hair was very unruly. The prettier sister though, was oiling and combing her own hair. The plainer one kept complaining about the prettier sister, accusing her of being mean or something. The prettier one kept calling the other a "demoness". It was cute to watch at this stage but I couldn't help feeling that this was going to develop into a tragedy because it was obvious the sisters were going to be treated differently by people they meet, based on their looks and that can't be good. But for now, I just took their pictures and moved on.

2. The Jackass on the bus - On the bus to Manali, the guy sitting in front of me had his bag in the shelf above him. Another guy who was sitting in the back, wanted to slide the first guy's bag forward by a few inches to put his own bad behind that. I guess the second guy's logic was that if he put his bag ahead of the second guy's it would be too far ahead for him to keep an eye on it. But in any case, the first guy didn't allow it. The second guy tried to reason with him but nothing came out it. He went so far as to say that if the second guy touched his bag, he'd murder him or something! He clutched the shirt of the first guy and immediately people stopped it from getting any worse. What was neat was how the other passengers calmed the first guy down without getting physical or sounding condescending. They all were smiling, saying something to the effect of "Come on, it's not a big deal" etc. But yeah, that would be the second violent idiot I've met in about two weeks.

3. A Bengali called Lakshmi - At Rohtang Pass I was desperately trying to reach the top of Zero Point, the highest part of the road which crosses over to the other side of the mountains. I was desperately gasping for breath from all the climbing and thin atmosphere. I wasn't even sure I could make it to the top when I saw this guy standing at about the same altitude, looking at me. I walked up to him slowly and he starts off by saying, "Let's do it together". OK! We chatted as we climbed to the top, alternately showing fear and encouraging the other. We made it to the top and took in the beautiful view together. He even bought me coffee up there. After we climbed/slid to the bottom, he wanted to climb up another snow-covered slope. I declined because I already pretty beat by then. I didn't even ask him for his name till we were splitting up.

4. The driver on Day 1 - For my trip to Rohtang Pass, I got a driver/tour guide. Turns out it's the same fare no matter how many are in your party, so I could have saved a ton by going with a group, but what the hell. I was here, and with it being just me on the trip, I could start and stop as many times as I wanted to. The driver confirmed my thoughts as he not to stopped whenever I asked him to, he took plenty of pics for me and in general was a nice guy. He, more than anything else I saw on the trip, made me feel good about the trip in general. I learned some very interesting things from him. For one, cab drivers eat for free in the restaurants outside the city of Manali. The idea being that since any customers these places get are due to the driver making a stop there, restaurants are obliged to feed the driver for free in return for the customers he's bringing. Neat tradition. He is also a fan of old Hindi songs and he popped in a tape of Mukhesh's classic songs. It was great driving home in the pouring rain, listening to the oldies.

5. White guy at the temple - At the Vashisth temple, the hot springs area was an enclosed area for the men, much like the showers in a gym. You walked in, changed into your "swimwear", which for most people meant just their underwear, and either dived into the pool or showered at one of the pipes at the end. This being an Indian temple, the people there were noisy but not anymore than normal. There was a White guy there as well, not American, most probably European. So I was trying to muster courage to get into the really hot water when I suddenly hear the guy shout - "SHUT UP EVERYONE. SHANTI!!!" Everyone was stunned. He was clearly annoyed by the noise everyone was making. But after the initial shock wore off, people started going up to him and scolding him for saying "Shut up", which was perfectly normal. I mean, where the hell does he get off asking people to Shut Up in a country in which he's a guest! (BTW, although I didn't, this would have been the perfect opportunity for me to confront him and pick a fight, because I know that the other Indians wouldn't let a White Guy beat me up!) After enough people had scolded him and he apologized by saying that his English wasn't good, I sat next to him and tried asking him where he was from. In response he looked up and pointed at the sky! What a d*****bag! Eurotrash! I wanted to tell him, "I didn't know they made d*****bags like you up there." Geez!

Visiting Manali: The rest of the trip

Rest of the city was alternately annoying and interesting. One place I visited was the Hidimba Temple. For those that don't know, this is where "Roja" was shot, the scene where Arvind Swamy gets kidnapped. I used to think Mani Ratnam was brave enough to go shoot in Kashmir for that movie, but turned out he chickened out. It gave me an idea for a new ad campaign for Himachal Pradesh - "We're just like Kashmir, and we don't have terrorists". I dunno why anyone would to Kashmir after that! (Except me, I will be going to visit that state sometime.)

Went to see a place called "Naggar" which has this ancient castle, converted to a hotel/restaurant by the tourism department or something. I didn't know they could do that! Next time I have to eat here since I was told that the food here is "authentic" local food.

Another place I went to visit is the Vashist temple. BTW, it was really interesting how Manali has temples for these odd dieties - Manu, Vashisth, Hidimba, Ghatotkacha. The Vashisth temple was famous for its hot springs. The water is reputed to be so hot that you can cook rice in it! Of course, I had to get into the water and I did. Except, I wasn't sure the water I was sitting in was very clean. I just hope it was coming directly from the ground and not after some other people had showered in it upstream.

At various points throughout the trip, I noticed these pipes with water coming out of them, except they didn't have any taps on them! This seemed like a big waste till I realized that the water that was coming out of the pipes was coming directly from the mountains. In some cases, it was fresh stream water travelling down the mountains, they form pockets to collect this stream water and send it out through the pipes. In other cases it was hot water coming out of these springs. People over there use these communal "pipes" for their daily uses.

On Saturday night, I was waiting in a store to buy something when I heard this guy walk up to the owner and ask him if he knew where the "Bob Dylan Cafe" was. Except, he said that as "Bob Die-lun cafe". I was about to turn and correct him when I realized that other people in this area were probably pronouncing it the same way and it would do him no good to go around "mispronouncing" it.

Visiting Manali: Rohtang pass

The big trip on the first day was to Rohtang Pass. The taxis here charge you by the trip rather than "per head" and that means that since I was traveling alone, it cost me a fair bit. Still, it was good to have the luxury of being able to stop the car when needed and take pictures or whatever. The driver was fun and good company and it made the trip fun. We rented snowgear and got ready for the climb.

What really impressed me along the way was the road. It had to have about 3000 cars driving up the road everyday. Not to mention the fact that it's on the face of various mountains and subject to extreme weather and erosion. We saw batches of workers repairing the road at various points in near-freezing conditions and it made me appreciate the BRO - Border Road Organization a lot.

The traffic got very crowded at the end and my driver dropped me off a fair bit before the end. That meant that I ended up climbing on my own and it wasn't fun. I thought I was in decent shape since I'd been managing a couple of miles each time I went running lately, but the low oxygen, drop in temperature (from 100 F to 40F) and walking in snow was too much. Of course I didn't know I was screwing myself up till I got back to C'garh. Meanwhile I climbed to the top and it was spectacular, made up for the effort of climbing up. Tall peaks all around, snow everywhere. It made me think to myself "Remember, you trip where you couldn't go any further ..."

Of course, lot of foot and vehicular traffic so that ruins the landscape there a little but it's understandable. After all, this is one of the very few places in India you can have snow in the summer and everyone wants some of that. I kept hearing various languages as I walked through the people. There were atleast two Telugu student groups. Being as this is a honeymoon hotspot, the locals build small snow sculptures shaped like "heats" which couples can sit in front of and have their picture taken. Clever! There're Yaks you can take your pics with, man-powered sleds you can ride to various parts of the Pass, etc. Sadly not enough fresh snow to the point where people could throw snowballs at each other. But still a great sight to see.

The weather changes to quickly over there, like in all mountains basically. During the hike to the top, it suddenly got dark and started snowing. That was a bit scary. It was pouring on the way back and I'd hate to think of the snowfall at the top and the people stuck there.

Visiting Manali: The onward bus journey

With hindsight, I'd probably go for an advance ticket and get on a
much nicer bus to go to Manali. As it was, my planning went like this,
"Hey, let me go to the bus stand and get on the first bus that goes to
Manali." Turns out, Manali is about 8-9 hours away, which is an
awkward length for a bus trip. Any shorter and you can depart and
arrive in the same evening, any longer and you can do a comfortable
overnight journey. 8-9 hours meant that I'd either be staying in the
C'garh busstop, bored, for another few hours, or arriving at Manali
before daybreak.

Or so I thought. I was going to get on the 10pm bus but on an impulse
I got on a 7:30pm bus which I was told was sold out at first. Only
then did I call my parents to let them know I was going to be out of
town since I wasn't sure upto that point! (Remember that restaurant
whose photo I once posted, that apparently served both "Indian" and
"South Indian" food? I ended up having a meal there before I left,
except that restaurant doesn't have any S. Indian dishes. So that
restaurant owner is both a bigot and a liar!)

I hadn't had a whole lot to eat before the trip, which was a huge
blessing. The bus journey was one of the worst I've ever experienced,
topped only by a catastrophic bus journey to Tirupathi where my
brother and I were tossed around like salt in a shaker. The only
reason this wasn't worse was because here the roads were quite decent.
But the driver for some reason felt the need to drive like he was on a
race track. Speeding up, and then slamming the brakes at turns, then
speeding up again, and then slamming brakes. Basically we kept getting
tossed around again, in 2 dimensions. The end result? Atleast half the
people who got on the bus were throwing up througout the journey! It
was incredible. All night long, people kept sticking their heads out
and spewing out their dinners. Those that managed to get their heads
out in time were the lucky ones. Some managed to wait till the bus
stopped for bathroom breaks etc. By the time it was light, I could see
the windows were all streaked and the floor of the bus was messy as
hell. It was a good thing I kept my bag above me!

The stars disappeared at 5am and there was enough light to read a book
by 5:15am. As we pulled into the bus stop, my fears about having to
wait till the city "wakes up" were gone. The bus stop was bustling
with activity, with the tea-sellers' business roaring. I found a
decent hotel room close to the bus stop and checked in.

Back from Manali, a flood of posts coming up

I was going to start posting about the trip itself but turns out I
still haven't recovered from it. I slept poorly for three straight
days and exhausted myself in between. What a fun trip!

Take Himachal Pradesh off the list of states to visit in India and put
it up there in my top three favorite states/union territories! (In
case you're wondering, the top three is Andhra Pradesh for purely
biased reasons, Himachal Pradesh and Goa.) I don't just mean that the
state is beautiful, which it is. The people are rather nice too. Small
sample space of just two days and all that, sure, but unless I meet
some bad characters in HP in the future, that state will have a high
ranking for me.

So yeah, I apologize for the gap in posting, posts and photos coming up.

A follow up on an earlier incident

You might remember this previous entry from my blog from when I was in
Pune, about a kid who wanted to shine my shoes (chappals) for Rs. 2.

http://thedevilwentdowntopune.blogspot.com/2009/03/my-own-deewar-moment.html

Basically toward the end of the polish he said he was trying to get
started with his own shoe box and wanted Rs. 180 for that. I thought
it might be an elaborate con and I didn't bite. Well get this. Turns
out another friend of mine who was in Mumbai/Pune had the exact same
thing happen to him.

http://vibhablog.wordpress.com/2009/06/04/child-labor-or-dignity/

Now I feel bad because he has an entirely different take on the
incident but I'm now more convinced than ever that this was a scam.
Man, I lost a little bit more of my faith in mankind today.

A Chicken and Egg problem

Back in Pune I used to get atleast a little part of my quota of eggs.
The "uncle's restaurant" near work had a bunch of ways of preparing an
egg curry - basically boiled egg in different gravies. However that
hasn't been the case after I moved here. I haven't laid my hands on a
single egg curry yet. In one of life's greatest ironies, when I moved
here I asked around about veggie restaurants and I got a list, but now
that I want a restaurant that serves egg, I can't find any!

Yesterday in particular it was as though God himself decided to keep
me from eating eggs! I had a strong craving for egg curry and decided
to go out for lunch, instead of having my usual lunchbox delivered.
There are four restaurants in walking distance of home/office but only
one of them serves "non-veg". Turned out yesterday that that
restaurant was closed due to some electrical issues. So I ate a
regular veggie meal at another place. In the evening, I decided to go
to a different part of the city, a bit far awar. But I couldn't find a
single auto/rickshaw/bus to take me there. I got worried after a while
because while even if I did eventually get a ride there, I didn't want
to get stuck there without a ride back. So I decided to try a third
part of city which is close by. That place has a bunch of
restaurants/dhabas but I still couldn't find the egg curry. One
"non-veg" restaurant I went to had pretty much every animal on the
menu, but no eggs. Finally I asked around and found another "non-veg"
restaurant. This one even had "egg curry" written on their menu, on
the wall. So I sat down, called the waiter over and said, "One egg
curry, four chapathis", only to have him come back to me a couple of
minutes later with, "Sorry sir, we're out of eggs"!

A note about the restaurant. "Restaurant" is being kind, this was a
shack. An earlier version of me (say from 9 months ago) would have
shuddered at the thought of eating here, but I felt comfortable with
the conditions here. The waiter served rice, which had formed lumps,
with his bare hands, by breaking down the lumps in customers' plates
with his hands! The "rotis" were served with the same hand and I tried
not to see what else he was touching with those hands. The two guys
who sat next to me ordered a bunch of chapathis, which arrived in
their usual dry condition. So they asked for a stick of butter. The
waiter came back with a piece about 3"X1"X1". One of those two took it
and started spreading it all over his roti, which he then broke off a
piece from and dipped into his very oily curry. His friend meanwhile
asked the waiter, "Wait, where's my stick?" and the waiter brought him
his own cholesterol stick! Of course, I wouldn't have cared except
these two were skinnier than Lindsay Lohan and it weirded me out to
watch them go through all those calories and still be skinny. Must be
a hardworking pair.

Sorry, please, thank you.

People in this part of the country are very rude and discourteous.
Obviously, as with all such statements, you have to follow that up
with a clarification - not all of them. But yeah, remember those posts
about Pune where I couldn't stop gushing about how nice and polite
everyone was? Even the vendors on the road were polite and reasonable.
If you bargained, and quoted a ridiculous figure, they'd ignore it,
instead of getting belligerent. Not the case here. People by and large
are very rude, gruff and impatient human beings.

Let's start with the vendors. I'm scared of buying anything from these
vendors. Once I tried to go buy bananas from this guy, except, I only
wanted 3, since I didn't want them to go bad before I got around to
eating them. The vendor became very rude when I was trying to bargain
him down. "You know what, why don't you come back next week." - and
just refused to deal with me. Way to be professional! They also try to
cheat if you're not careful - when you select some fruit and give them
for weighing, they add and subtract from those fruits as they feel
like, meaning they'll take out the good fruit you've selected and add
bad fruit from their piles.

The drivers on the roads are worse in the sense that they're supposed
to be educated people but behave worse than the cattle. They drive
very fast, take fast turns on blind corners, and do not under any
circumstance yield to pedestrians. Not to mention driving on the wrong
side of the road, driving through mud puddles and splashing the muddy
water on pedestrians and finally resorting to physical violence when
confronted about their bad driving.

It's like the people here had civilization thrust on them (rather than
achieving it naturally). So they don't quite understand how to use
modern inventions - like cars! Barbarians!