Scary or sad?

(As I write these next few entries, I'm back in the US already. But I want to narrate a couple of incidents that happened during my last week there.)

As I finished my work with my bank on Friday, I waited outside for my dad to pick me up. I noticed a woman of about 30-35 walking toward me. She was thin, about average height, wearing a sari, with her mangalsutram prominently displayed in front. She walked up to me and said, in very good English, "Bhaiyya, can you do me a favor?" I said, "Well depends on what you need."

She went on to describe a fairly depressing tale (in a very weak voice). Apparently she had an inter-caste marriage, which caused her family to disown her. Her husband then ran away with a younger girl. She tried to go back to her family but they shut the gate in her face. Her young son keeps asking why grandpa won't talk to them. To make matters worse, doctors diagnosed her with cancer and she has only 6 months to live. Her son is crying because he recognizes she's going to be gone soon. Then she said something I didn't quite catch, but basically her landlord will let her take her stuff if she pays rent, and she is Rs. 300 short. So would I mind giving her that? "I am not some cheap woman, bhaiyya. I have an MBA. My b**tard husband, he put me in this position. I hate two things - lying and begging. And he made me do both, lying to my parents earlier, and now begging."

Now, the first thing anyone would think (as did I) is that she's a con artist. But the reason I wasn't so sure was because of her mangalsutram, which looked genuine, and because she spoke very good English. It was clear that she was Telugu, but she either assumed I was N. Indian, or she wanted to impress upon me that she wasn't some beggar, so she spoke entirely in English. Which probably meant that her story was true. So I had to make a decision. And as inhuman as it sounds, the calculation I made was - "I should give her atleast X so that I won't be an ass for ignoring a person in genuine trouble, and atmost Y so I won't look stupid if I realize later that she was lying." I ended up giving her Rs. 100.

I was aware of another possibility. That this was misdirection all along, and as soon as I gave her any amount, she would make a scene and try to imply that I was "paying her off" for something worse and blackmail me into paying more. So as soon as I gave her the Rs. 100 (which she took while still asking for more) I walked away and got into a bus, telling my dad over his cellphone that he didn't have to pick me up anymore.

Regardless, the whole incident made me feel very dirty and disgusted. At myself for not helping out more. At the woman's family and husband for behaving the way they did (assuming she was speaking the truth). And at the world for making me suspicious of everyone to the point where a person with truly genuine needs would not receive help because of the few rotten apples.